(a)Musings: Latent Creativity

I've been sick for over a month now; I hear a muted ocean/ringing sound 24/7 because one of my eardrums ruptured and I'm quite sure that I got mono from a certain vindictive bitch who intentionally drank from my drank a couple of years ago and that it's now returned. At least I didn't faint when I went for blood work today like I did before so I can actually find out for sure.

It's weird being at home and doing next to nothing. I've barely even read, and most of the time I don't even feel like (or feel well enough to be) painting or making things, though I have been anyway. I'm working on several of the most legit projects I've come up with in years and I realised that they're all united in theme, so I'm going to call them the Electro Pop Series and try to get them put in a gallery here when they're done to make money and scratch that pressing item off my To-Do-Before-Leaving-Phoenix-Forever list, just to say that I did. Many recycled items including shark and dinosaur foil fruit snack packets, a nonfunctional GameBoy, cogs and giant novelty sunglasses are involved.

The Dead Celebrity Series has sadly been on the back burner for - well, since the day Michael Jackson died. Doing all that forced studio art plus art history in high school really fucked me up; I haven't done a full blown painting in about 5 years now, not that I've ever actually finished one anyway. It's like how studying Japanese has made me never want to study Japanese again. Always hated school, killed my inspiration, glad it's over forever. Anyway, I started this one of Warhol-era Liza Minnelli holding dead MJ as Christ; maybe I'll look back nostalgically on this update when it's finally finished.

What else have I been doing lately? I have several elaborate necklaces in the works that I've barely started. Making stencils and printing shirts and jackets and whatnot is awesome, but tedious and messy. There have been two perfect opportunities for me to learn how to screenprint over the last several years and I regret missing them both. I could still just do it myself - the bathroom I have now is easily spacious enough to double as a dark room - but it's easier when you learn something in person and there are materials available for you to steal instead of having to invest in them. I also regret never having learned how to stretch/make my own canvases, though I prefer painting on mat board anyway.

When I can actually start making money I'm going to order prints of some of my best photos, which are actually (shh, don't tell) just vacation photos, really. If I can get them matted cheaply I'll try to peddle them to galleries, too. I mostly do architecture, pastries and try to catch as much bright blue open sky as possible. Maybe someone will see these here and feel compelled to visit my Etsy shop :P

(San Clemente)

(Nicula)

(Berea)

(Phoenix)

(Constanţa)

(San Clemente)

(Bran)

The only other things I can think of that are in the works aside from remaking cute textilesy things I've given as gifts to sell - because times like the day of someone's birthday are the only times I'm motivated to sew something neat - are terrariums and miniature tea set windchimes. 

Typing this stuff helps me to consolidate and focus my thoughts; hopefully all of the things I've mentioned will become future posts of their own. It'd be nice if I could focus on one thing long enough to get really good at it instead of just being mildly proficient at everything, but I guess flexibility and range can't be undervalued either.

Today I found out that my Japanese degree isn't useless when a random consulting firm contacted me after seeing my resume on Monster and that there's hope beyond being a starving freelance bohemian, in case I get sick of it. It's too bad ASU doesn't teach you how to speak Japanese in their god-forsaken miserable impractical unnecessarily painful program. It'll be a while before I can get a job like that. I have two degrees in languages I don't even speak because I just picked something and went with it, it's insane. I've apparently been committing tax fraud for the last four years, which I only found out about because my online sales last year were substantial enough to set off an IRS tripwire somewhere and require me to file. I want to be an entrepreneur, self-employed and doing things on my own terms, but all of the money-making schemes I've come up with over the years haven't been big or organised enough for me to say that I'm particularly adept or gifted at it. I want to tutor in Spanish and do proofreading to make money for the time being but I don't really want to do anything like that (e.g., editing or teaching ESL) for any length of time. My (no longer) secret dream is to sing in nightclubs in Asia. And of course, I have a plan laid out to start my own legitimate business, but it's a unique niche market idea that I try not to discuss so that it doesn't become part of the collective consciousness before I have a chance to implement several years from now.

So I can't earnestly call myself an artist, a writer, a translator or an entrepreneur. What am I? I'm sure this is what being in your 20's is about, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating. 

Oh yeah, and I still need to take up archery, learn how to play keyboards and see San Francisco. 

UPDATE: Aha, a third piece for my Dead Celebrities series. Actually it's going to be Dead Musicians exclusively, but that sounds trite. I guess I need a new title altogether.